All I Want Is My Three Front Teeth

Lost and now found.

After nearly half a century of professional speeches I’ve had almost everything happen to me, but recently I had a new experience. I was speaking for seniors over at Solty’s Adult Day Care Center here in Hillsborough. I had a warning signal the night before but I crossed my fingers and kept my date with that group. I was just about to my closing segment when one of my upper front teeth went flying out of my mouth and across the room. I smiled a big ugly smile and sang the song Judy Garland sang in the movie “There’s No Business Like Show Business” “Be a clown, be a clown, all the world loves a clown. Be a poor silly ass, and you’ll always travel first class.”

I had everyone sit in place and examine the floor around them searching for that tooth. We all continued searching for my tooth. Everybody was so nice and cooperative about it. I carefully walked over to my table and started the music for my closing number which was the I Love You Waltz. I glided across the room addressing each of the attendees personally. We cleared a safe path that we double checked for my tooth and the attendees walked into the dining room. Then a couple of the staff came with flashlights and we all crawled around on the floor checking out the whole room. Finally, one of the ladies searching under the chairs along the wall called out excitedly, “I found it.” And we cheered and I put that little tooth in a little plastic bag and later in the day, a life saver, Dr. Daniel Cheek, DDS, worked me into his schedule and he cleaned and polished the tooth and then gave me back my smile.

I’m sure glad I no longer take myself too seriously. The way it worked out, we all had a good time.

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